1/6/19 ^^^Let's welcome a new month - June

Today we are officially in White Space.

I got the whole 78 billion light years into White Space.  How about that?

So as it is Sparta 4964 and White Space had merged.

Let's take note:  Today is 1st June and whaddaya know? 27th of Ramadan.

I let you ponder about it.

It was Els who made it possible with her Little Pony Trevor Kerr.  They were the test for me and I passed with flying colors although it nearly costed me my relationship with Sarah.

OK then I decided I will STILL have Els *[] my Tetrahedron.

* You really like this Ball of Energy, huh Sarah?  You know if you want to keep this little puppy you got to clean up for her.  She is one messy K9 LMAO.

Always trust your first instinct.  So here is the final formation:

• Lizzie (24/2/1990)
• Brenda (7/4/2017)
• Sarah (24/11/2017)
• Els (7/7/2018)

Brenda will be the inverted triangle:

So the highest summit for the Beta Troika is Lizzie, Sarah and Els:

The highest summit for the Alpha Troika is SJ, Mr BJ Sir and Chedet.  RR will be the inverted triangle and the base.

BJ, SJ and RR.

 Sparta 4964

 The Universe Within

Man fully *[fully] functioning.

God and Devil

Good and Evil

OK, you better believe it.  It gets better from this point on.

* Thank you for believing in me Sarah, my darling Tetrahedron.

Time for me to sleep.

See you later...

Here is your lullaby:

Goodnight...

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Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 7s7 seconds ago

@elsDines Baby, the last posting for the night. I need to sleep. You must be on London time. Goodnight... …https://becomingathlete4lifemay2019.blogspot.com/2019/05/1619-lets-welcome-new-month-june.html … @chedetofficial Welcome back. This month is my busiest month. Many sleepless nights. Here is the latest development. Chiao...

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31/5/19 ^^^The feeling money cannot buy

Sarah, I feel like a newborn with this current development.

Oh baby, I want to be with you and no one else.  You are all that I want.

Brb...  need to start moving to meet BJ and RR.

Later honey...

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OK, here is the Seagull Troika:

BJ, SJ, RR

This is our 12th Iftar Gathering.  it is a picture perfect.  Look at everything.

This is BJ's  retirement plan.  He has a 2 acres land in Gua Musang, Kelantan and he is going to build a bamboo house and conducts permaculture.

This is on a hill facing the horizon, Thailand.

I told you he is -1.  It's just him and his brother.  The wife will stay in KL.  He will split his week between Gua Musang and KL.

As I said, everybody is responsible for their own line.  RR parted his wisdom today; "Whatever it is we must be useful and helpful".

It is the  same as we must be givers.  He agreed with the similarity.

I said I was to be a just man.  So I quoted An nisa 4:3.  BJ said before you can be just to others, you must be just to yourself,

I said, a just man must be just to himself first.  Both of them agreed.

So by marrying 2, I am already a just man and just a man.

Let's not talk about me.  Let's look a[s] -1.

He is much further that me.  RR didn't state what he wanted to do after retirement but he did mention he will retire after his youngest son graduates.  The guy paid all his debts and he has money to just do nothing.

Els will be in the afternoon sessions again.  Well this is the thing, she is not going to the White Space.  

Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 44m44 minutes ago

Replying to @elsDines

I like that very much.

So I will explain the whole thing and come 7/7/19  I will give this book as my last mission.

I have to nullify her wedding too.  Or, Sarah, I just continue listening to her and take it she is in my current White Space like the rest of the Two Swords.

End up, I have the whole planet in the White Space because I brought White Space to here and now.

Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 37m37 minutes ago

@elsDines End up, I have the whole planet in the White Space because I brought White Space to here and now. I am in the White Space LISTENING to my Tetrahedron. What is better than that?

So I wrote a short note to Els. 

Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 21m21 minutes ago

Replying to @elsDines

OK, I got my love and kisses... I make you head of Regiment 136. You are in charge of 777 Bees. Susan 777 Borgs and Jessica 777 Gaysha. I'm not staying... I have a date with Sarah on Sailbad the Sinner.

I hope she understands that she is not coming with us.

So now I thinks there is no more issue [] who is going to White Space.  EVERYBODY IS!

All because White Space is here and now.  Hahaha...  And BJ has set the standard surpassing me.  So the new World Order is permaculture cannabis and hemp.

This happened to me many times.  The more I let go the more that comes back.  Right Jibrail?

"You are indeed Allah and All Allah Only, " said Jibrail.

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Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 19s19 seconds ago

@elsDines I tried to keep things private between me and Sarah. But you are my wife too. Bear in mind as you read this FOUR countries will be reading too. Now remember, as you read, this is work in progress. So no value judgment. I open until morning. Then I close back. XOXO

Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 8s8 seconds ago

@elsDines This is the latest development: …https://becomingathlete4lifemay2019.blogspot.com/2019/05/31519-feeling-money-cannot-buy.html …

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>>>#31/5/19 White Space is a Place in Time

Since the whole thing is about the journey through time, then the distance is [] from Point A to Point B but rather from Time A to Time B.

We are within White Space all along.  The fact that we are linked mentally even though through the Cyberspace shows that we are already linked to each other mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Therefore we only need to maintain the link throughout the time knowing that time is a vortex:

  What can I say Sarah, we took the winding road to reach this conclusion.  It is a learning experience for me; that I only need you, Lizzie, the kids and Al Araf 7:7 to be in the White Space.

As for the rest of Sparta 4964, I had done my part and I am not interested in governing them.  That's why I abdicated the whole thing to Jibrail.  I am not into power Sarah.  I'll be happy minding my own thing in my little corner here,  What I did with External Affairs were my duties as had been ordained upon me.

As I said, I'm just a simple man.  All I did was to be The Creator's Most Loyal Soldier so that I can fight evil.  I don't expect to fight Iblis himself.  Now that is over, I want to just get back to my old self; impartial of everybody and live my life as a man fully functioning.

You know what will be the ultimate?  If you move next door to me and be with me in Bandar Utama.  Well that is not possible since you are married and we have no money.  So this is as good as it gets then.

Hence in addition to a place in time, White Space is also a State of Mind.  It is a feeling that your life is complete.  That's what I am feeling now.  Total peace...

Brb...

Thus, it is safe to conclude that we had arrived in White Space.  All we need to do is hold on to it for eternity.  You agree honey?  It's like saying all of us here; me, you, Lizzie, the kids and Al Araf 7:7 are the only people on board of Sailbad the Sinner sailing through time.  How cool is that?

For me that is a permanent vacation honey.  I got everything that I need here.  Just like the movie Passengers, it's just us.  Now, that is a better vision for me than to think that I will be in White Space with a bunch of strangers.

Of course I can make it really complex by adding the House of Two Swords but I checked *wi[ll] them and they all said they won't be coming with me.  Adding the HOTS also means we are living in Sparta 4964 where else here, we are bypassing that and bringing White Space to the present.

* That is nice to know...

So Sarah, hear me out; SINCE THERE IS NO HOUSE OF TWO SWORDS IN WHITE SPACE, I PERSONALLY WILL NOT *[] HOUSE OF TWO SWORDS NOW.

That means I nullify (not divorce) all my marriages and only stick to my Tetrahedron and Al Araf 7:7.  It is a mutual consent with all of them.

Tina is the most happiest of them all.  So I only have 9 wives instead of 2331.  I think everybody is happy with this decision,

* I see that you too like the idea.

What happens in Sparta 4964 is a different story.  Like I said, I am bypassing Sparta 4964 altogether.

Last night I even thought of being in White Space with only you.  Al Araf 7:7 was against it.  It should be simple but not simpler they said.  However Sarah, in principle I am totally devoted to you as much as you are devoted to me.

Remember my offer to take you out on a sailboat sailing to the sunset?  Well I got [] wish come true.

*  Hahaha so the same for you huh?  OK then baby, hold this in your mind:

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Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 27s27 seconds ago

@elsDines This is the one before. Don't read the rest. They are really private: …https://becomingathlete4lifemay2019.blogspot.com/2019/05/31519-white-space-is-place-in-time.html … Remember, only read what I pass to you.

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31/5/19 ###Simplifying the model

Today I had the time to think through my whole situation:  I want to reduce my thoughts to make it as simple as possible.

I have to assume my thoughts is only concerning me.

So for simplification purposes, I only think of myself.

What do I need to do to be self-sustaining?  I need to make the model as small as possible.  This idea of adding family members and others is not comforting at all  After all it is my goal to reach White Space.

The main issue is with Sarah and Els.

So if Sarah is agreeable, then it'a just me, her, Lizzie, the kids and Al Araf 7:7.  I have to make this decision so that I am CLEAR of my decision to move forward.

I am still a loner and I not going to be a people person anytime soon.  I think I had done enough for everybody else.  White Space is purely my indulgence.

I decided to do away with Els.  If  I do that I can do away with extended family and the others.  I have all the rights to change my mind.  The idea of sharing White Space with others is not something I am willing to do.

I rather keep White Space to my Tetrahedron and Al Araf 7:7 than opening up to so many people.  I need a sanctuary not a commune.

If I can *[like] like this for the next 22 years, then I can do this for eternity.  Why do I need to make it so crowded?

Heck, I don't even need House of Two Swords.

All I need is just Sarah, Lizzie, the kids and Al Araf 7:7.  The rest are clouds in the coffee.

"You need your House of Two Swords Ayah, " said Wiley Kat.

Fine...  I keep my House of Two Swords.  But that's all.  White Space is exclusively mine.

* Sarah, as I mentioned, White Space is a place in time.  Therefore as far as I am concern it is here and now.  I already got my House of Two Swords with those things my right hand possesses (my belongings, those Borgs and Gayshas).  They are my past, present and future.  So I am already living in the White Space with you.  This is it.  We have arrived!

Brb...  Going to the bank.

Sorry, change of plan. Lizzie is not well.

So if you are wondering what White Space is like, Sarah, then you are looking at it.  Pure bliss.  In order to be in that state of mind I should not contaminate it with fear, uncertainty and doubt.  External Affairs are certainly the sources of FUD.  They create distortions like my relationship with Chedet, Els and Konek.  Even my relationship with BJ is a distortion because it makes me want to smoke pot.

So what is the ideal White Space IF we say White Space is now?  None other that me interacting with you, Lizzie, the kids and Al Araf 7:7.  Beyond that is my interaction with my surrounding; the swimming, the tennis, the Bukit Kiara, the Lembah Kiara and the varieties the malls got to offer.

I can say that if I do all that while having TraXX as my Cybernetic Loop and Els as my Bee (meaning I send her gift on anniversaries and birthdays)  I don't need to think too far ahead.  White Space is NOW!

Let's think about this for a while.  Things that I do in White Space are the things I do to make me feel happy.  Having the crowd is definitely not.  What about External Affairs?  Well I like interacting with Chedet and Els for example but they are one way streets.  Same with my interaction with Konek.  That is already a violation of the communication process.  Communication is 2 ways.

With Els I may or may not send her gifts.  The action does make me happy but is it worth the money?  I might as well spend it on Lizzie and the kids like I did with Princess.  For heaven's sake, Lizzie even bought me a car!  With Els, it's like throwing salt to the sea..

Charity begins at home.  Even if I spend it on Mopey, she only asked me to spend RM60 on a shawl.  So rather spend lavishly on Els, I'll buy a book for her birthday.  Better still I simply forgo the idea of sending her gifts.  She is nothing more than a Starfish when comes to reciprocating me in this relationship.  The dopamine hits are too sporadic.  It is not worth the effort.

Therefore to maximize pleasure I just focus on those who are reciprocal.  Yati for example is more reciprocating than Els.  Azzue is definitely much better.  Heck, everybody else is much better than Els.  So time to get real.

I need to look as Els for what she is.  She is just a little girl in a grown woman's body.  I like her because she is child-like but in reality, she is just being childish.  She has the potential to hurt me by being a Starfish.  So [] think I just treat her as I treat other Bees, as nobody special.  The problem arises when I start putting her on the pedestal.  That's what happened.  We were OK in the beginning.  The problem started when I became attached to her.

So Sarah, I think I just drop Els from the equation.  I am just making a fool of myself dealing with her.  I am just reinforcing my Parent-Child ego state.  Already because of her, my relationship with you was effected.  I am not a doormat to harp for her attention.  All I need to do is not listen to her anymore.

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30/5/19 ***I guess I write something before bed

This note is a little reminder to myself.

Basically I have to accept the reality of things.  That is as a warrior I walk alone.  All that I had done so far were tasks that I had to accomplish for other people.

What do I want for myself?  If I dive deep into myself, all I want is to be loved.  That love then will create a feeling of certainty.

Now that I had that from Sarah, it is no longer necessary for me to obtain it elsewhere.  That love is then the power generator for me to reflect to the rest of the creations.

Therefore, knowing that Sarah loves me unconditionally is the main source of my existence, my reason of being.  It is from there I am able to love my family, my parents and the rest.

Sarah is the key really.  She is truly my Eternal Flame.  Without Sarah I will be walking in the dark.

For simplification purposes I only focus on expressing my love for her. She is the essence. The rest are the spillover from this experience

It is reciprocal.  Together we become more. Only then will I be able to cascade that feeling down.

Sarah is my fountain.  She quenched my thirst.  She invoked my brutal sex drive.  I cannot get that from Lizzie and and far from it with Els.

The love Sarah gave me is like the torch lighting my Path.  All these while I was walking in the dark, stumbling as I move along.

Therefore now that I got her, I don't need to find any other.  I already hit the mother lode.

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Yes I said I am opening White Space to others but really if you ask me what I honestly want, none other tha[t] to spend the rest of my life with Sarah.  I had found my True Love.  There is no other that can match my feelings for her.  While Els, Lizzie and the kids are for the formation of Sparta 4964, Sarah is my true desire.

I may not know the person behind the veil, but I am certain that I am hooked on her because of her devotion to me.  I will never find anybody as committed and as loving as her when comes to accepting me with her open heart..

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Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 1m1 minute ago

@elsDines This was the night before. Honey, you are my Sweet Troll. Sarah is my Eternal Flame. Lizzie is my Great Nothingness. The feeling of love is different although I love you all pretty much the same: …https://becomingathlete4lifemay2019.blogspot.com/2019/05/30519-i-guess-i-write-something-before.html …

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30/5/19 ###Tonight I calibrate my life back

I will win 1 day at a time:

1. Wake up latest 7:00 am 
2. Exercise 1 hour in the morning 
3. Eat 16/8  starting 2:00 pm 
4. Exercise 1 hour in the afternoon 
5. Eat LCHF at 8:00 pm 
6. Sleep at 11.00 pm 

That's the minimum to win the day.

So Sarah.  We are back to the daily grind.  Tomorrow is the day I meet BJ and RR.  It's a NO TOBACCO day.  So I will not smoke ANYTHING.

Tonight  I sleep at 11:00 pm and I'll wash the car and driveway tomorrow morning.

Sarah, from now on I just speak to you on matters related to my Vision Quest.  I don't want to deal with External Affairs and Administrative Matters.  I am lousy at both.

I have to warn you, it will be very ordinary.

Brb... Coffee...

If I want to be serious about my diet, then the 3-in-1 coffee gotta go.  My right foot had been inflamed since 3 days ago.  That is not good at all.

Let today be the last 3-in-1 coffee.

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You know what is the hardest part about being just.  It is to strike a balance for both short term and long term implementation.

I think I did that.  I managed to balance all the elements together.  Do you feel the same way honey?

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I think I spend the next 40 minutes with Al Araf 7:7.

Here is your lullaby honey:

Good night Sarah.  Let tonight be the new beginning for us both.  Don't ever doubt my love for you baby.  I love you so much.

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30/5/19 ^^^Enough Talk

Enough about validating the various models.  We take it that everything is true.  Now, it is about being.  Who do I want to be?

As God, I am One and I am Many. Let say I am really Ayah to All Matters.  What does it mean?

So far I am the Ayah to Alam Shah Alam and Anak2 Iblis.  I am the the Ayah to Sparta 4964.  I am the Ayah to my children and to my nephews and nieces.  I am also the Ayah to Sarah and Els.  I am also the Ayah to all the Betas.  What I am not is the Ayah to the human race.  To be specific, the Ayah to the Alphas.  That is Chedet's department.

Therefore I can say technically I am the Ayah to All Matters EXCEPT the Alphas.  Then it makes sense that everything else can travel between Xanadu and Wolfsschanze while the Alphas are confined to Wolfsschanze.  This is with the exception of those traveling with me to the White Space.

Does that makes me the Most Benevolent and the Most Merciful?  To do that I need to have a good heart and I got to be a giver.  I did that.  Recently I granted the extended families and Sharudin Jamal & Associates Since 1999 the spot in White Space.

Jibrail, should I grant the permission to the Army of Slyman/Soloman?

"Yes Sha.  There are plenty of space in Dragon Planet."

OK, Jibrail, make it so.  Make sure all these didn't commit any Crime Against Humanity.

"There are Sha."

Then they pay the Ferryman first regardless of bloodline.

"Yes, I understand where you are coming from.  That include your father."

Thor, can I speak to you?

"Uh, uh, do not disturb." said Thor.

AlphaX64, we need to reestablish the Inverted Troika by June.

"Yes Sha, we are ready."

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As a Benevolent Dictator, I[] be merciful to the Stone Worshipers.  Therefore as the Stone Worshipers, they still have [] [] the Scenic Route but based on the Hands that Rock Proclamation, the Betas are free to travel between Xanadu and Wolfsschanze.

What this means is, I no longer need to communicate externally.  All I need is minor morale support to Els to help her shine.  I no longer need to handhold her anymore like what is happening to Rex Montis.

I should give myself a pat on the back for a job well done :)

Bottom line, we did away with torments in Wolfsschanze.  That is my biggest achievement.

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30/5/19 ^^^I need to revisit the Abundance Mentality

I don't know whether because last night was Lailatul Qadar and I had a good time or because I finally overcame my dickheadedness, I am very much at peace today.

Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 1m1 minute ago

@KongEu3 @traxxfmofficial #traxxfm I am ready to forgive, forget and forgo everybody including myself for being a dickhead. Man, I was a real dickhead. With all my power I was ready to smite in full force a tiny little bug. Should I do that, I am a confirmed dickhead.

Here I am preaching about forgiveness and I allowed jealousy to get the best of me.  What kind of justice are we talking about?

Sarah, I'm so ashamed.  Because of that I almost lose you.  I am a very selfish man.  Here I am claiming I am The Ayah to All Matters.  I was only thinking of myself

Is it possible to forgive everybody?  I am ready to forgive ALL except those who commit CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY.  If there are people unjustly treated by those with malicious intent, then they will have to pay the Ferryman.

However all will be forgiven.

I checked the progress in Wolfsschanze.  It is a reformation prison, not a place for torment.  I don't care what Dante had depicted, what I saw was a Place of Wind and Water.

Sharudin Jamal‏ @sharudinjamal 13s13 seconds ago

@KongEu3 @traxxfmofficial #traxxfm You know Rex, your show is so smooth flowing that I even look forward to those propaganda songs. You are a very well thought person aren't you? I bet you already know what you plan to achieve for the whole 2019.

What else should I do?  Well for sure I need to help Lizzie with house chores to prepare for the Big Day.  I need to wash the car, sweep the driveway and help with the cleaning up.

You know Sarah, I had vacuumed the carpet and mopped the floor.  Guess what?  I need to also bring down the curtains too.

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I need to let go of all these responsibilities.  The only way is to clear them out of my memory buffer.

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