I had lunch at an Indian restaurant. Then I went and deposited some money in the Unit Trust. It felt good. For so long I no longer have the desire to buy anything. I had spent so much last year.
As I said, I am finally complete.
My desire now is to live my life to the fullest. God and the afterlife no longer matter. All that counts is my ability to be the best I can be.
If I am God, I had been my level best. Now is to be the best human there is. I have to be just to myself. That I had not done. I punished myself by eating junks and not exercising.
How can I be a just God if I am not a just human? Therefore I rather be a good man than a good God. Being a good God is easy. It is being a good man that takes effort.
As of today, I had completed my Godly affair. I am not sure if I was being delusional but as it is I think I had fulfilled my role within my sphere of influence. In other words, that is what I had done if I am God given that I might be experiencing God Complex rather that being the real God.
Whatever it is, like my 15 years battling Iblis, I delivered. If it is not what God desires then let God figure it out on his/her own. Don't use me as the instrument for the revelation.
I am not interested in governing Sparta 4964. I am only keen in securing my place in the White Space where I am free from being free. That makes me a Reluctant Ruler of whatever there is.
I want to be a Free Radical. I want to roam my Universe Within. I want to be thin and fast so that I can be healthy and happy.
Forget about being a Benevolent Dictator. I want to be in the company of a few that I can trust and enjoy the White Space. My job is to create a conducive environment for all especially myself, my Tetrahedron and Al Araf 7:7. Beyond that is just incidentals that I inherited.
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To sum it up, I am not God. How can I be God if I don't want to be God in the first place? I might be an instrument of God, but I am not him or her.
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