Let's have a positive mind and stop being a dickhead. No more talks about the unknown. Let's start with seizing the present. Let's do this model. Simple and achievable:
All it takes is the right Cybernetic Loop. This Calm Piano is what I really need. I need to let my mind soars. I need to be free.
No responsibility, nothing. Just live life one day at a time. I know when I am thin and healthy I can achieve whatever I set to do. For this next 3 months I just focus on that. On being thin.
I still run but I will not put any expectation. Everyday I run in the morning and walk in the afternoon. Just focus on the process. Don't worry about the result. It will come.
Sarah, are you with me? I want to start on a clean slate baby. I want to change my mindset to simply flow instead of me going on a journey. That means from now I want to live one day at a time.
I want to savor the moment. The furthest I want to think is 3 months down the road. Nothing more.
That also means I will end this Blog by tomorrow and start fresh as a new man come 1/7/19. I shall collapse all my past mental models. I just be a simple man. Not even a Zen Monk or a Wandering Sufi. I will be true to myself. I will be a person who is just and loving. 1/7/19 is the date I officially cut off from the 3 Cs together with sugar and starch. I will also cut off from Nicorette. No dependencies whatsoever.
I want to be a free man. Free from all that hinder me from being healthy and happy
I want to fall in love with you all over again. To really be a man fully functioning. Not even a god. Just me, the good old Sharudin Jamal. A retired consultant who suffered from 20 years of Bipolar and who had been struggling with [] dark side for over 39 years.
By 1/7/19 I will put all that behind me. I will no longer live a life full of facades, I will be true to myself. I am nothing more than a simple man.
That means I no longer become any part of the majority. I am now an exceptional minority. Of a person who simply be. Not because what is expected of me but because this is who I am.
Boy, that is a relief Sarah. I will still run, but that's because I enjoy running. Not because I want to achieve a personal record but because I want to.
It's not because I am happy therefore I run but because I run therefore I am happy.
Sarah, to me this is progress. I am moving towards a better me. I am letting go of my dark side. I am transforming form a caterpillar to a Darwin's Hawk Moth.
Brb... I am cooking dinner tonight. Nothing special. Just oats with salt.
Later baby.
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