Basically at present I just want to cruise. Enjoying the weather and loafing around.
What is it that I want? Well basically health and happiness. For a person who lost both they are paramount to me.
So definitely no more smoking. No more living on the edge. I will behave from now on.
Life is good. I eat well, I dress well and there is no pressure. Nothing to complain. Money is enough. I basically bought everything I need to buy.
Life is good.
All I need to do is watch what I eat. If I am thin and healthy, I win 80% of the battle. Of course there is the need for achievement. That I can achieve by exercising at least one hour a day.
All I need is peace of mind.
I can do that. It all starts by me being healthy. To be healthy I must be thin. To be thin I must watch what I eat. To watch what I eat is to stop eating sugar and processed starch.
So by July no more sugar and starch except oats.
My inflammation is gone. I am mentally ready for tennis tomorrow.
Then come Monday, I am ready for my 7 Points to Winning. I will take it easy. I just win the day, one day at a time.
Live Radio is great. I am listening to Calm Piano now. Pretty much what I need at present; a calm mind to focus on my life goals.
I must stay committed to my purpose. This is it. Fuck Relentless. I don't want to be a Cleaner. I want to enjoy my journey. I don't want to have unnecessary pressure. I want to be in love. Let love be the reason why I am alive.
Being a Cleaner means I become an asshole. I don't want to do that. I want to run but I want to run because I love running. Not because I want to chase after something.
I want to be a happy runner. Not an angry one. Certainly not a dickhead.
This Calm Piano has a positive effect on me. It's soothing to the mind. It makes me realize I am my own best friend. That I am a good person. Even if I am a bad person, I can be good if I want to.
------------------
Sarah, let's have a more holistic model. For the next 3 months, instead of trying hard to achieve a target, let's focus on being healthy and happy. Lets win the day everyday and see the result at the end of the 3 months. I want to experience both without being in a pressure cooker. I want to let it happen instead of forcing it upon me.
I know in the past I had been a dickhead. So now I am changing the model. From now on I'll be a nice guy. No even a Samurai or a Shokunin Kurina. I'll be a good man. A just man again. A man who still aim for excellence but a man of reason.
I will empty my cup and start fresh. To enjoy the scenery while I ascend the summit of Mount 57.
I am changing my wallpaper to this:
As a reminder that once in my lifetime I was there at the summit and still is. Nope I change my mind. I don't want any part of it. I want to be healthy and happy.
This is my wallpaper:
They run for the sake of running. Because they can do it .
I changed my mind. This is the most appropriate:
That's all there is; health and happiness. Even if I don't have anything but only these two, wherever I am, even in the confinement of the CCC, I still be in heaven.
-------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment