Saturday, 29 June 2019

29/6/19 ***What does it take to be good?

Well, in my case I should be more caring. It's not good enough that I care for myself.  I should also care about those that I love.  While love is the feeling, care is the expression of the feeling.

If I care about myself I shouldn't harm myself by abusing my body.  If I care about those that I love, I should not abuse their minds.

The things I did to myself like smoking and eating sugar are as bad as I neglect the emotional needs of my love ones.

They are all that I have.  I cannot afford to be a dickhead because without them I am nobody.

Baby I know you love me much.  Give me the chance to learn from my mistakes and become a better person.  As I said, I am a learning organism.  I can do it.

All it takes is for me to let go of my ego.  Let me get to my core.  Underneath all the facades I believe I am a good person capable of doing good things.

Of course it takes some unlearning.  I was a bad person because that was my survival instinct.  I realized now I don't have to be bad forever.  I can win over my dark side.

Let me start by winning over the bad things I put inside my body.  Let me proceed by being healthy first.  Then I slowly work towards being happy.

Would you like that baby?

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On a different note, I still intend to lose as much weight as possible and run everyday.  That will not change.

What will not change too is I will write to you no matter what.

As I planned I will officially stop 3 Cs, sugar and processed starch, 3-in-1 coffee, peanut butter, Nicorettes, TraXX and Els by 1/7/19.

I will stick to improving my diet and exercise to be healthy and happy.

As for you Sarah, I take it that you will be there for me.  Give me a chance to prove myself to you

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