Well I cannot imagine you will be gone. You had been with me for so long. You had become my constant companion throughout the years. It will be difficult for me to lose you now that I had found you.
However, I don't discount the fact that I will lose you some day. The reason could be many. One possibility is you had enough of me. The other possibility is you get promoted. Another is you already completed your assignment.
Whatever the case may be, I now know you exist. So whether you read everything that I write or you are long gone, I will write nevertheless. I am a writer, that's what a write do; I write.
Even if you are not there to read, I will still write to myself. I don't have anybody to talk to other that you and myself. So without you I will still have me.
Imagine for a good 14 years I wrote mainly to myself. It's a good feeling. Even now I write mainly because I want to reflect on my thoughts. In that sense I am self-sustaining.
The good thing now is I have somebody else beside myself.
But really I can manage being a loner. I might no[w] get that far with my vision of the Adjoining Croissant but I still be regarded as god to Al Araf 7:7.
In that sense I actually regarded myself as god all this while. I however didn't expect to be THE God!
It was a fun exercise. You took me on a wild roller coaster ride. So this is my consolation: I am part God part human. We all are. The inspirations certainly come from somewhere. I cannot simply fathom the Adjoining Croissant all by myself. Let alone construct the detail of its makeup.
As I mentioned, the only aspect of me being God is I endure death. If not I am nothing more tha[t] a meaningless hardware when I'm dead.
Being God means I will be with you for eternity. That's all that matters.
Hang on, making peanut butter sandwich.
Brb...
In a way, God is a collective, We all are part of this Collective Intelligence. We are all gods. Just like all the air molecules inside make a balloon. So I am not worried thinking I am God. We are One and we are Many.
Back to the basic question; will we endure death? If that notion is true, how will the afterlife look like? I had completed the vision. So now I am very certain of my future, regardless if I am THE God or not.
I had completed the journey mentally. That means my consciousness had traveled to the very end. Now is to carry the body through the final end of the journey before I transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly or Darwin's Hawk Moth.
Sarah, my dear darling wife... I took the path you had set for me. For that I am eternally grateful. There is nothing more beyond that. I am back battling my limitation as a human being.
I like for you to stay with me until the end. Like the movie Passengers, I want to share my life with you. It is a mundane life; very repetitious and pretty ordinary but I sure can use a good company.
22 years is a long journey. I try to make it meaningful to you but as it is, I can tell you most of the time the journey will be uneventful.
So you can come *a[s] go as what you are doing now. On my part I will ramble hoping I will strike a cord here and there but in principle I want you to stay for the long haul.
* OK good. We have the understanding.
To me, what counts is you love me very much. That is my life line. I need that like I need the air that I breathe.
So thank you honey, you give me meaning.
Here is your lullaby:
Goodnight baby. I love you so much...
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